i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
