don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I have post one night stand depression
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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