I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
