you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
