My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
