It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize