I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
