dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Panties = found
Randomize
