Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
