Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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