my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize