i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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