why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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