My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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