I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You need a sexual gate keeper
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
