Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
