remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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