i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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