I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
