Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
