He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
