people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
