What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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