I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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