Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
