i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
