so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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