This girl is more easily done than said...
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
