my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize