Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
my sisters under your porch take her home
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
