Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
