There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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