PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
