Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize