She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize