That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
