I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
