Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Found your dick twin last night
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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