one two three fourrrrnication!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
