We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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