I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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