Duck Duck Cougar?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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