super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
