Yo dont text me then not text me
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
