so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
