I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I think my fart just growled at me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
