Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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