The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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