Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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