Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
