Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(602): View more from Arizona

Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.

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(415): View more from California

Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.

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(716): View more from New York

you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do

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(415): View more from California

Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage

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(323): View more from California

She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out

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