): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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