I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
ugly people sure do ruin things
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
