help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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