Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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