When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
