I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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