May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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