just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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