The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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