if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
