Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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