it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
