remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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