I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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