I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize