I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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