ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
