I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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