just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
