I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
