she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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