hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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