my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
