I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Help me help you realize you are a moron
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
