I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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